Guest Talks, Life As It Is

Are We Living The Life of Our Choice? | Guest Post by Anonymous

‘A lot can happen over coffee’! We had heard this many times, haven’t we? But tweaking a bit, I would say a lot can happen when you become an author too. You meet a lot of people, strangers most of the time, in real or in the virtual world. The best part is to develop the bonding with your readers. This happened lately to me too. In the process of my book promotion I met a lot of people who have appreciated me, have become my critic and have been my supporters too. This post is from one such lovely person I had met virtually. She wanted to express her views to the world. Fearing the flak she could possibly face from her close and extended family, she wants to stay anonymous. Respecting her privacy and concerns, I’m sharing this post by my first anonymous writer.

Here goes the guest post.

Are We Living The Life of Our Choice?

Why even do I exist when I don’t have the right to live a life of my choice?

To live the life is a birthright of every human being. The moment I start observing the world around, I start aspiring to become like them.

I still remember my childhood dreams.
I wanted to be like my mom and act like my father.

Years after years, dreams continued to change – from becoming just like my mom to becoming a dancer, an actor, a doctor, a teacher, an engineer and what not…

I was being taught to become what I want. There was no force to choose the subjects and I had chosen a commerce stream. My sister chose to study the subject, and she then became my only inspiration. Following her footsteps, I too chose to study Commerce.

Since school days my mother restricted me to visit my friends‘ house.

When I was in school, I had hardly visited friends at their homes, not even two. And because of this family ritual – it is no more a ritual for my younger sister – I used to fear to make new friends.

Life is mine but it was ruled by my family.

But the best part is – I have chosen a partner of my choice.

Isn’t it a great victory?
Well yes!

But I don’t know whether he will support me after marriage, just like now.

My sisters and he have been the only supporting system I have with me.

Still, I have to take permission before going out of my house other than college.

It is the second year of my college but I hardly go to any cafe or restaurant or for a movie date with my girlfriends.

They keep on making plans and I keep on denying them, making excuses.

I fear if I’ll ask my family they will definitely refuse. Yes, they will say no only.

I have never sought permission for casual meetings.

Yes, I went out for eating few times, I never told them.

You know how it feels when you want to do something good but you are being stopped …because you are a girl.

It feels like running away.
It’s not like I am not happy with my family or I am ungrateful.

It is all about not leading a life of my own. It’s about being directed every time. I would have been okay with everything had they treated my brothers the same way.

Gender bias is a disease which can’t be cure by sharing knowledge. I had faced it during my college admission. I was being told to continue my studies in my hometown only and my brother got an opportunity to shine brighter because he was a boy.

All this had affected me.

Not now.

I’m happy with what I got because Allah says “he will give you what is best for you”.

The question is – Are we women able to live a life of our choice???

I am writing it because as a woman I know we suffer a lot yet we keep quiet. As time passes by we think ‘This Too Shall Pass’. It will pass, truly, but have you ever thought how it has affected us?

Do you want your daughter to go through the same????

Did you too faced or are facing such things. I want to know how you have handled and have been handling this. Please share your views in the comments below.

— Shared by Anonymous Writer

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